The Demon Dinner, A Thanksgiving Horror Story

CHAPTER 1, In Which Our Heroine, Elissa, Is Introduced To the Idea That She Must Bake the Entire Thanksgiving Meal Herself.

CHAPTER 2, In Which Our Heroine Goes To the Store the Day Before Thanksgiving To Purchase Whipped Cream and Is Forced to Pay $35 for Overpriced Thanksgiving-Related Items.

CHAPTER 3, In Which Our Heroine Opens the Cupboard and Realizes The Demon Children Have Emptied the Cinnamon Container By Making Cinnamon-Sugar Toast. A Prayer That There Is Enough For the Pumpkin Pie Recipe Ensues.

CHAPTER 4, In Which Our Heroine Starts To Make Pie Crust and Finds She Has Only Half the Shortening the Recipe Requires. An Adjusted Recipe and Thin Crust Ensues.

CHAPTER 5, In Which Our Heroine Pulls the Scrumptious-Smelling Pumpkin Pies Out Of the Oven and Exclaims, "Crap! I Forgot To Add Sugar!"

CHAPTER 6, In Which Our Heroine Goes To the Store, Again, To Pick Up Additional Cinnamon and Shortening and Extra Pumpkin Pie Ingredients.

CHAPTER 7, In Which Our Heroine Begins to Remake the Pie Crust and Pulls Out the Extra Bag Of Flour From the Pantry, Only To Find Out It Is Whole Wheat Flour and Not the All-Purpose Flour She Needs.

CHAPTER 8, In Which Our Heroine Returns To the Store For the Third Time to Replenish Her Supply of Flour.

CHAPTER 9, In Which Our Heroine Finishes the Pies and Goes To the Cupboard To Prepare the Yams And Cannot Find Them. A Frantic Search Ensues.

CHAPTER 10, In Which Our Heroine Turns To the Frog-Eyed Salad and Begins To Boil Down the Sauce and Does Not Finish Until 2 AM. A Short Sleep Ensues.

CHAPTER 11, In Which Our Exhausted Heroine Wakes Up Early To Prepare the Turkey and Realizes the Pan She Was Going To Use Has Been Rusted By Water. A Fourth Grocery Trip Ensues and a Disposable Roasting Pan Is Purchased.

CHAPTER 12, In Which Our Heroine Wrestles With the Bird and Gets It Into the Oven, but Realizes the Rolls, Mashed Potatoes, Cream Pies, and Yams (If They Turn Up) Must Still Be Made. Mumbled Complaints Ensue.

CHAPTER 13, In Which Our Heroine Takes a Break and Checks Her Email, Only To Find a Wonderful Pick-Me-Up Email From A Friend (thanks, Trish!) In Her Inbox. A Thanksgiving Remembrance and New-Found Energy Ensues.

CHAPTER 14, In Which Our Heroine Checks Every Room In the House But Still Cannot Find the Yams. A Tearful Farewell To the Idea of Candied Yams Ensues.

CHAPTER 15, In Which Our Heroine Removes the Turkey From the Oven and Inserts the Crescent Rolls. A Near Mutiny Ensues as Demon Children Complain of Empty Stomachs.

CHAPTER 16, In Which Our Heroine Removes the Rolls and Realizes She Has Burned Half Of Them.

CHAPTER 17, In Which Our Heroine Sets the Table and Just as Dinner Begins Realizes the Stuffing Has Not Been Made. A Frantic Last-Minute Baking Ensues Thanks To a Certain Stuffing-In-A-Box Concoction.

CHAPTER 18, In Which The Thanksgiving Prayer Finishes Just Before the Stuffing.

CHAPTER 19, In Which Our Heroine Overcomes the Demon Dinner, Bellies Are Filled, and Smiles Light Up the Thanksgiving Table.

THE END